I was having a discussion with my housemate and could not find any logical, ethical, moral or otherwise based problems with the following theory;
"Masturbation can fix anything"
Think about it and I defy you suggest any reason why when faced with turmoil, heartache or crisis in your life you should not turn to masturbation. I bet that this solution would result in less conflict, more love, and generally a better world.
Admittedly discretion is recommended and some fancy footwork may be required to achieve full enlightenment in the PC world we live nowadays.
Do not let anyone get in your way. Throw social convention and conventional ideas on therapy and stigmas surrounding masturbation out the window and get back to basics. Sort yourself out.
This solution makes undeniable physiological sense. Ladies, get some oxytocin happening. Get that euphoria into you and let it do its work in your heady weddy. Let nature take over and fix that achy breaky heart. Forget Billy Ray Cyrus, he is a chump compared to the power of a good bean flick.
Think of it like a drug that you can administer to yourself, that is tailor made to be so good that is considered by mother nature to be adequate motivation for our species to continue the process of existing. Boil it down and thats what you get, a combination of hormones and receptors that are geared to react to this feeling, to lure you into procreating. Thats a pretty important job that those recpetors have evolved to do. Don't waste them.
"But I m more then an animal, i have thoughts and can make choices and don't need to have sexual gratification to be happy". That is the voice of misguided evolutionary superiority suggesting to you that you ignore your brain and your body and to bottle that frustration up, making you into, if you think about it, less then human.
I put it to you that if you ignore your impulses and urges then you are sub human. You are throwing a beautiful gift back in the face of mother nature, spitting in her gorgeous earthy face and and deserve to be de-sexed. Controversial? Maybe. Will embracing this theory cause problems for you in today's society? almost certainly. Should you do it anyway? almost certainly, get into it. I guarantee you will have fun and you sure as shit will be happy.
I'll be back in sec.
All done. much better. oh yeah.
Evidently i prefer the company of a special person as an alternative to widely discussed masturbation. and to clarify i am not a rapid animal, searching for willing victims to satisfy my uncontrollable urges. Contradictory? I feel no reason to explain this paradox.
I just think masturbation does not get the credit it deserves. We should have a public holiday for it. The country can take a day off, reflect and unload, we could be the happiest country in the world.
